How to Spot a Gatekeeper (Even If It's You)

Foster and Cesar dive into the topic of gatekeepers—those visible and invisible forces that control access to success, opportunity, healing, and recognition. They explore how gatekeeping shows up in creative industries, media, friendships, and even family dynamics. With vulnerable storytelling, they unpack moments where they’ve felt on the outside looking in and how they've reclaimed power by creating their own doors—or walking away entirely.

This episode is a call to self-trust and liberation. Through honest and sometimes embarrassing revelations, Foster and Cesar invite you to consider where you might be waiting for permission instead of granting it to yourself. If you’ve ever felt like someone else held the keys to your next step—this one is for you.

In this episode: 

• What gatekeeping is and where it shows up
• The surprising place Foster encountered a gatekeeper
• Cesar’s embarrassing truth of being a gatekeeper to someone else
• Why being a “Gate Greeter” might be their new favorite thing 
• The most beautiful gesture Foster received from strangers
• The invisible ways we gatekeep ourselves

Also mentioned: 

The loss of Foster’s son Wilde, outlined in Episode 3.

Community leader and actress Leonora Pitts. 

The Narrative Life of Frederick Douglass

If this episode spoke to you, you will love Breaking Open where Foster & Cesar explore transformation through leaps of faith. You can also watch the episodes on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to follow Beauty in the Break on your favorite podcast app and leave a review—it really helps!

Reach out to the show—send an email or voice note to beautyinthebreakpod@gmail.com and be sure to follow on Instagram. 

Cesar Cardona:

• Attend his upcoming speaking engagements
• Listen to music from Cesar + The Clew on Apple Music and Spotify
• Receive his monthly newsletter Insights That Matter

Foster Wilson:

• Buy her poetry book Afternoon Abundance
• Learn about her postpartum services
• Receive her monthly newsletter Foster’s Village

Created & Hosted by: Cesar Cardona and Foster Wilson

Executive Producer: Glenn Milley

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Beauty in the Break. I'm Foster. And I'm Cesar. This is the podcast
 
where we explore the moments that break us open and how we find beauty on the other side.
 
So whatever you're carrying today, you don't have to carry it alone. We are here with you.
 
Thanks for being here and enjoy the show.
 
Welcome everyone to Beauty in the Break. 

Hello, that camera, not that camera, not even that camera hello hello

I'm over here my gosh what's going on we should we should we never break fourth
walls

I don't want to break fourth yeah we can i'm for I grew up watching Ferris Beuhler's day off

I should be breaking all the fourth walls 

oh I feel like a deep breath is necessary into the nose out through the mouth work that uh sympathetic nervous system that's right
 
all right we have a really great episode for you today tell us a little bit about what we're
 
going to be talking about today Cesar Cardona 

all right so I had this conversation the other day
 
with a friend of mine and we were talking about the people around us when we were growing up because
 
she has these voices in her head not actual but you know the voices that tell you things in life
 
saying that she can't do something and I was like excuse me have you not seen what you've done beforein your life? 

And then I started giving my examples where somebody would tell me I can't do something
 
and then I'll do it and then they'll tell me I can't do the next thing.

 I'm like, didn't you just see me do this here, ma'am or sir, gatekeeper? 

So I want to talk about gatekeepers today.
 
What are gatekeepers? Let's speak more archetypally. 

It's the energy, could be a person, could be an obstacle, but whatever that prevents you, that wants you to not move past into the realm already in. 

They want to keep you down or out or away, or in some cases in from going out.
 
Those are what gatekeepers are. Yeah. 

I think of them like they're people that are in positions of power of any kind. You think like the bouncer at the door, right? 

The temple guardians going into any kind of sacred place so they help are they helpful are they purely hurtful right what do
 
they do in our society to keep us keep us in order is that a good thing it's very interesting this
 
this is kind of my area of this is my wheelhouse those sort of symbolic threshold guardians the
 
ones who stop you there because they're always supposed to be so daunting when you watch movies you can see like
 
I watched Shutter Island the other day
 
and DiCaprio gets off that boat
 
goes onto the island and he pulls up to a gate
 
and I go there they go
 
there go the threshold guardians there go the gatekeepers
 
in almost every movie they're going to get to some sort
 
of place where they have to get into
 
and usually two people if not maybe
 
three or four are standing there stopping them
 
and for the most part
 
your job
 
is to not fight them
 
and not run away but just
 
be you
 
stand your ground and be there and usually they get let pass in the movie 

which I find very interesting which is the journey which is like do we stay in this on this side here or do we make
 
it through I think anybody who's ever passed through a threshold of some kind looks back at
 
that and go wow I did that oh my god I made it through that I talk about that with wild all the time. 

Like I made it through that experience in my life. Oh, I can, I have so much trust in myself
 
that I can do something else. Yeah. You use that as data to go forward to the next journey that you have. 

Yeah. Would you consider wild your biggest threshold passing? Probably, probably wild. 

And then my divorce are like the two biggest, my divorce probably more so even because it felt so,
 
I had to be so activated to do something in that.
 
With my son, it was something that happened to me.
 
And although I did have to make a decision at a certain point, my hands were tied.
 
And so it was more of a passive experience.
 
The threshold of leaving my marriage was a very activated experience.
 
The easiest thing to do was to stay put where I was.
 
Yeah.
 
And did you have in those moments,
 
Did you have any particular person, without naming them, of course, that you were surprised that were kind of like gatekeepers, kind of telling you not to participate in your need to move forward?
 
Yes.
 
I, well, maybe I expected there to be so much gatekeeping that I really didn't share this information until it was already done.
 
Because I expected there to be a lot of gatekeeping.
 
Nay sayers.
 
Yes.
 
I, for certain, our couple's counselor straight up told me, have you even thought about what
 
you're doing to your family wanting to leave?
 
The therapist said that?
 
The therapist.
 
The counselor?
 
Were they a therapist or were they a counselor?
 
They were a therapist.
 
And they said that to you?
 
Yes.
 
I believe that they thought that she thought that her job was to keep us together, which
 
is not the job of a marriage counselor.
 
Very interesting.
 
That's a very interesting thing for a counselor.
 
That's my theory that she saw it as a success rate, but she very much was against me leaving the marriage and ending the marriage.
 
And that was a toughie to process, you know, because you go into a therapy session wanting to trust the person that you're with.
 
Thank goodness I also had my own personal therapist who knew me for, you know, seven years at the time.
 
And could walk me through what was reality and what was someone else's agenda.
 
So you had a gatekeeper.
 
And you had, what would we call someone who is the opposite of a gatekeeper?
 
Gate greeter.
 
Gate greeter.
 
A gate greeter.
 
A gate greeter.
 
A person like, come on in.
 
Oh my God, the cake is delicious here.
 
Come on, bring it on in.
 
I mean, I had people in my life also who, after the fact, told me, I think this is what the decision you have made and have already made.
 
I believe it's wrong. I had friends who said that. I had family members who said that. I think this is wrong. 

I think this is a mistake, which is just, you know, very difficult to, to hear. And
 
that's their truth. And, you know, they had to process their, the news in their own way.
 
I'm always intrigued by the people who have convinced themselves that even though they don't
 
spend every single moment of day in another person's life, they know what's best. Yeah.
 
There's a thing called Solomon's paradox where most people can see other person's situation clearer than their own.
 
That makes sense.
 
Understandable.
 
You're removed from it.
 
And also at the same time, you're still incomplete.
 
You're not incorrect, but you are incomplete.
 
Right.
 
So why would somebody, in my opinion, I ask this question often because just a bit of my side is I grew up with people telling me I couldn't be a musician.
 
I couldn't buy a house when I was 20. And they found ways to try to sabotage a lot of the progressive things in my life. 

So I had a literal gatekeeper living in my life since I was a child.
 
And then I grow up now and I can see it everywhere in the world. 

And I may, if I may say people have been in my life living in LA, when I've told them what I want to do, I constantly get the note of,
 
well, you know, that's hard or, okay, well, we'll see about that. Someone said to me once,
 
I told him, I said, I'm going to Las Vegas and I want to go see if there's any bars that are available for playing shows.
 
And he said to me, oh, yeah, yeah.
 
Well, it's not called Win Vegas.
 
So be mindful.
 
Las Vegas.
 
Clever.
 
And also, I don't hang out with that person anymore.
 
Like you have anything you can say. And that's what you chose to say.
 
Okay.
 
So my question is like, how does somebody get to that point thinking that they can tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing, where you should or shouldn't go, considering they haven't lived every single day, every moment with you?
 
Well, let me say what you said about the information they have is incomplete.
 
That is fair because for those people in my life who said, I think what you're doing is wrong.
 
I think this is a mistake.
 
They didn't have the whole story.
 
And that's my responsibility.
 
Not that it was my responsibility to tell them, but the inner workings of what had been going on in my life and internally and in my marriage, I did not share that with many people.
 
And so how could they know they had an outside perspective?
 
How could they know what was going on inside me?
 
So it was my job to sort of, I think, sort of explain to them my reasoning and also that, hey, I haven't been kind of sharing what's been going on for me the last many years.
 
And so let me catch you up to date.
 
And you know what?
 
Those good friends who said that in the beginning and they said, this is hard to say, but this is what I feel.
 
They stuck with me anyway and learned more and then said, you know, okay, I, I, I understand now and I'm up to date over time, but it took time.
 
Let's, let's go right back to the metaphor of the story and the mythology and the movies.
 
You had a shapeshifter, the person in the beginning of the movie who is the villain.
 
They become the sidekick or the other protagonist.
 
They start helping in return.
 
That's a good one.
 
And also they have so much integrity for somebody to be able to do that.
 
Good on them.
 
Stay open and change and listen.
 
I honor and respect those people because they would come to me and say,
 
hey, this is hard to say, but I cannot lie to you and say like, oh, I'm happy for you.
 
I had people in my life who did tell me I'm happy for you and congratulations.
 
But I also had people in my life that I'm not that, but I got to be real with you.
 
I just don't understand.
 
And it's going to take some time.
 
And you know what?
 
They, they did.
 
They stuck with me.
 
They did.
 
So I'm a first principle kind of person.
 
Let's like try to get to the root beyond the physical thing that we're looking at.
 
There's something beyond, behind that.
 
What I've seen for the most part is people telling you to not do something is their own fear projected onto you.
 
Yeah. I, when I was planning to move to Los Angeles, I remember I told somebody that I was
 
going to move here and she was like, Oh my gosh, I couldn't do that. I, there's no way I could do
 
that. I don't know why you're doing that. And she had never been here before. And I remember walking
 
away thinking like, why don't you just say good luck? Yeah. Go for it. And then I moved here and
 
I saw how troublesome, how hard it was to adjust. And I realized, ah, okay. Okay. That fear they
 
realize about changing a whole new environment that lived within her. And so before she could even work through that fear, she blah, blah, blah, she just got it out all into my situation.
 
The learning note from that is so often when someone does gatekeep, I just see their own fears and anxieties being spoken outward. And I stopped taking it personal in that way.
 
My therapist would say to me, well, that is that person's story, right? And so if you,
 
in my example, if my marriage appears to be strong and healthy and positive, then a lot of other
 
people may have what they perceive to be strong and healthy and positive relationships and marriages
 
as well. If mine then turns and no longer is right, what does that say about their relationship?
 
I think it caused a lot of people, whether it's true for them or not, in most cases not,
 
But if they saw similarities and mirroring in themselves, that's going to cause an adjustment period.
 
Like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
 
I thought we were living similar parallel lives and now you're doing something else.
 
I don't understand that.
 
But what happened on the other side is now I see similarities with all of these other people who are leaving marriages or starting over, getting divorced or separated or becoming a single mom or whatever it is.
 
And now there's different connection points I have with those people as well.
 
Well said.
 
Well, well, well said.
 
You also been able to transition through that threshold and the gate you left open and you've linked, you've thrown a rope to the other side and says, if anybody wants to come along, I can help get you here.
 
Yeah.
 
Let me say for a moment, too, in terms of gate greeters, when I moved out, I was taking very little.
 
I had not a lot and I was starting over and that was okay.
 
That was my choice.
 
I was ready to do that.
 
I had this group of women in a mom's group on Facebook that has just become this pillar
 
of community for me and for everybody in that group.
 
And a shout out to the woman who started it, Leonora Pitts.
 
She is absolutely an incredible community leader.
 
They do this amazing thing where they surround themselves around somebody who is in need within the community and say, we got you.
 
We got you.
 
We're going to hold you.
 
You got some hard thing you're going through.
 
You're separating.
 
You lost your job.
 
You whatever, got evicted or whatever the hard thing is.
 
We got you.
 
They'll do anonymous Venmo donations.
 
They will, what do you need to furnish your place?
 
I had people in that group shipping me things that I needed for my apartment without any tags, just showing up at my door, measuring cups that I didn't have, a potholder.
 
I mean, it is so moving to a humbling to be on the receiving end of something like that.
 
And so moving to know that all of these women, no questions asked, had my back completely activated.
 
It was an amazing thing.
 
Gate greeters all around.
 
All the gates were open.
 
A group of, a gaggle of gate greeters, if I may say.
 
Really powerful.
 
My goodness.
 
Like, oh my gosh, that's fantastic.
 
There's something about the word you said, activation, which is what is required for you to want to walk through, go through that journey.
 
And there's something in that that makes you vital in the world, right?
 
And I think something about that light you put out in the world, what's Yong say?
 
The brighter the light, the longer the shadow, right?
 
So metaphorically, the brighter you get, the more momentum you're getting.
 
Therefore, you might end up seeing more gatekeepers in your life.
 
It's your activation that keeps you going through.
 
Your job is to maintain that effrontery of I'm doing this anyway.
 
I appreciate you telling me I shouldn't be a musician, but I'm going to pick up this guitar and learn it.
 
I appreciate you telling me I shouldn't buy this house.
 
I'm going to go sign those papers sooner.
 
Right.
 
Not in spite of you, but because I have a grounding in myself to understand what's right and what's best for me.
 
We also can't make the decision because that person told me, no, now I'm going to do it.
 
Yes.
 
Because despite them, we have to still come to, I still had to come to a grounded place and a deep understanding of who I am.
 
What do I want?
 
What do I need?
 
When I'm clear on that, I'm directed forward and kind of like everybody else out of my way.
 
You know, that, that laser focus that we talk about when, when a change is needed.
 
Yeah.
 
Thank you for clarifying that because it's not from spite.
 
That sort of signal that you're seeing is a clue into the vitality, the authenticity of
 
your activation going into something.
 
The more you go through those moments, the more you're going to get people that are going to naysay or try to stop you.
 
If everybody's agreeing with you, you're not being honest to them and or yourself.
 
Your job is to break through those thresholds.
 
Your job is to shed the skin like the snake does or like the moon sheds its shadow.
 
It's your job to go through those things.
 
And when you find more and more gatekeepers, you realize, ah, I'm on to something here.
 
Because body emotion tends to stay in motion and misery loves company.
 
So both of those cases are going to be exemplified and personified out right in front of you.
 
And that lets you know you are doing the right thing.
 
Yeah.
 
I have a question for you.
 
This might be a hard question.
 
You ready for this?
 
Are you sure?
 
I'm scared.
 
Your smile and your mouth said yes.
 
Your eyes said ask me later. Were you ever a gatekeeper to somebody oh shizat uh oh my god probably yeah we have to be yeah
 
we have to be it would be arrogant for us to say no it's ego if we think we said no
 
well yeah because don't you think like people will come to me for advice of going through
 
whatever something in the industry and suddenly i'm in a position of quote-unquote power right
 
to give advice and therefore i'm gonna say you know don't look out for this misstep don't don't don't go over here and kind of guide them but i'm doing it by pointing out the negative things they
 
don't don't go over here and this is this is a really hard thing and that maybe not for you or
 
whatever I rarely am I giving advice being like yeah greg you got it go for it come on in yeah i
 
wish I could say that I have been that person I don't know that I have been well you have to pair
 
it with letting them know it's possible sure and these are the obstacles that are coming up
 
and going back to the metaphor that's you putting the rope out beyond the back where you came from
 
and helping them instead of walking back there and picking them up because they gotta walk it
 
themselves, but you're giving them the line to get there by saying, be mindful, I'll help you,
 
but be mindful. I wonder if my work as a postpartum doula is gate greeting in a way of saying.
 
I mean, it's literally a threshold. Yeah.
 
There's the birth doula and the postpartum doula and both of us are, you know, walking
 
our clients. Dark joke, dirty joke. Excuse me. Continue, continue, continue. 

We are walking our clients through this experience is not our experience. 

And we are not, I'm not giving someone the way or the right way. No, this is their own personal journey, but I'm here to say here, here,
 
this is where all of us parents are on the other side. 

And let me try to soften the grass underneath you and kind of lay something out for you to, to walk through. 

I don't have the answers, but I'm gonna welcome you yeah yeah yeah agreed agreed you got yourself here uh-huh this is all on you
 
yeah yeah that that would 

I would totally agree to that you without question are the are the gate greeter and then at some capacity you're also the like the Virgil to Dante's
 
inferno like to dante where it kind of you you row the boat to the next island to the next location
 
that they have to go through right yeah and we have these again to go back to movies
 
of Morpheus and the Matrix and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Star Wars to Luke Skywalker. 

Anytime there's a wiser person that's there, they are gate greeters, right? 

Well, I wonder, I mean, the time that keeps coming up for me that if I was potentially a gatekeeper, I lived with somebody for a while
 
and I started to really, really not enjoy living with them. And then I could feel these thoughts
 
occurring in my mind that when I would see them try to progress and pick themselves up,
 
if I had something to share that I was like, oh, I see where they're going, I just, I wouldn't want to share it. 

And this is a very embarrassing thing to say, but there were times I just didn't
share. 

I was like, I know where they're, what they need for this. I know where they're going,
 
right? 

I know what situation they're in. And I just didn't share it with them. I grew animosity towards this person who they have their own stuff. 

It does, they weren't deserved of my animosity. 

And then when they would try to make efforts to change or to progress, and I could see
 
the metaphorical hand being reached, I wouldn't share what I knew about progress and give it to them.

It's very embarrassing to say. 

It's really, really embarrassing to say. You didn't reach your hand out. 

No, I didn't. My clothes feel weird now because I'm embarrassed. But I always want to admit
 
that sort of stuff because it's a part of being a human. Well, yeah. And of course, and there's
 
there's parts of me that on this side of parenthood also want to say to the people wanting to go down
 
this road oh my god it's really hard um if you're already there you're already there but it's so
 
difficult and it's such a long experience that I really want you to um make sure you want this
 
very badly um there's so much yeah when I think about when I think about gatekeepers the first thing
 
that comes to mind in my like experience in life has always been within the entertainment industry.
 
When I was a kid in school, I looked up to the teacher, the teacher had all the answers.
 
I wanted to please the teacher. I wanted to get straight A's and do it right. Be the good kid,
 
right? There's good, there was a good and a bad, right? So it's gatekeeping all over the place,
 
You know, as an, I was an actor for many years and I felt like I needed the approval of other people, the approval for my teachers in school and then going out into the world and auditions.
 
literally there's a director a casting director sitting in the room or a producer maybe they tell
 
you yes or no you may may or may not enter this field and unlike a lot of other industries and
 
businesses you are literally interviewing constantly as your job all day long every day in an audition 

So I just sort of lived in the world where someone else is going to tell me
 
if I'm right or if I'm wrong and whether I can or cannot go and there is nothing else I could do
 
and I lived for so many years feeling their act I think a lot of actors feel very powerless in their field and it really wasn't until I completely pivoted to directing and stepped on
 
the other side of the camera that I then became a gatekeeper myself I opened the door for myself to be able to make stuff without someone else telling me, hey, you can make this, you can be a part of this. 

But at the same time, I then was on the other side of the table and I was telling an actor,
 
yes or no, you can or cannot be in my film, which isn't malice. It isn't, it wasn't negative.
 
That is how it works. 

But I, I became the gatekeeper. 

Did you get to that other side and say, oh, that's what was going on.
 
Yeah, I got to the other side and felt,
 
oh, it's not about what I'm looking for.
 
I'm actually trying to fit a piece of a puzzle together.
 
I have a role, I have a character,
 
I kind of know how they talk and what they say and what they feel,
 
but I don't know until this creative comes in
 
and does what they do best,
 
which creative is going to fit into this piece of this puzzle
 
and casting a whole film is the same way.
 
All of these people have to live in the same world.
 
We did a whole film that takes place at a wedding
 
where we had parents and a bride and a groom
 
and all of these relatives and best friends.
 
And I was crafting an entire picture of what is this,
 
the entire audience at the wedding,
 
all of the wedding guests, what did they look like?
 
But also what are the families look like and how do these two people interact together?
 
It was no longer about my vision or what I need or saying yes or no to someone because they're the best at the job.
 
It was fitting a puzzle piece, like helping it come together, carving that sculpture out of the stone, finding it within the stone.
 
Yeah.
 
Well said.
 
Good call.
 
Finding it in the stone.
 
That's a Michelangelo thing.
 
Yes.
 
If I can say it back to you and back out of it, it sounds like that often some of the gatekeepers in society who continue to gatekeep are the ones who are not realizing that it takes a team effort.
 
They are gatekeeping the power and or information.
 
I guess having the information probably is what the power is.
 
That's what they're trying to preserve or keep for themselves.
 
Is that right?
 
Yeah, I would say even on the side of directing, like, yes, I was making independent films.
 
And I then had some sort of perceived gatekeeping.
 
But at the same time, I was pitching on larger projects.
 
I was dealing with executives all the time.
 
I would get so physically ill trying to pitch this project to, preparing to pitch a project to an executive.
 
And then I would get in the room and I'd be like, oh my goodness, this executive is 25.
 
What?
 
How do they know this story better than I do?
 
You know, there was a breaking of the fourth wall.
 
There was a pulling down of the curtain where you realize actually people who are in these positions of power are sometimes here through a side door.
 
And maybe they don't actually know more than I do.
 
And I think so often on the other side of the camera, the table or the interview, we're really just hoping the other person has something really great to offer.
 
Because I just want to say yes to that person and be like, this is it.
 
This is this is the answer that I've been looking for.
 
But the creative holds actually holds all the power.
 
Is the irony.
 
That's it.
 
That is totally it.
 
I think that takes the person to release that holding that desire to hold on to the keys to the gate.
 
Right.
 
So in order for them to realize, oh, we let this person in, we actually have more to preserve and protect what's inside the gate.
 
Because as the saying always goes, if you want to go fast, you go alone.
 
If you want to go far, you go together.
 
Right.
 
That's so interesting.
 
I find myself constantly spotting the naysayers of the world.
 
I think it's just because I grew up around it, I suppose.
 
But you happen to get to the other side of it.
 
And then you saw this like third option.
 
First thing first, you did mention right or wrong.
 
And you said it a good amount of times and it really sticks because that's typically what a gatekeeper is saying, right?
 
Yes or no.
 
You're in, you're not in.
 
Right or wrong.
 
No good, no good.
 
And it's such a dichotomy, but you went in there and found this third option.
 
It's so common to go up to the gatekeeper in whatever field this is or whatever area of life and say, yes or no, may I come in?
 
Do I have the right answer?
 
Do I answer the rhyme, the puzzle, or the riddle to get into the pearly gates, whatever it is, right?
 
But the truth is that the gatekeeper doesn't even know the question.
 
When I was acting and doing a lot of commercials, I had a commercial directing coach that said to us, everything in commercials is fear-based.
 
The ad executives at the top, they don't know what the consumers are going to buy.
 
They are throwing spaghetti at the wall.
 
The directors of the commercial, they're shitting their pants because they don't know if they're going to be able to deliver to the ad agency who also doesn't know what they want.
 
And so you as the actor, you get to come in so cool, so confident and do exactly what it is you do.
 
When you come and ease the fear, you spitball, you throw an idea, you give them a line.
 
They love it.
 
An improv scene as an actor is there because they didn't write a script.
 
They're hoping you will come up with something brilliant and they'll steal it.
 
I wish someone told me that when I was an actor.
 
So then you should get a writing credit.
 
But that is literally what's going on.
 
And I've seen super seasoned commercial actors walk in with just that kind of cool confidence and book it because they're like, okay, well, we can trust that person.
 
We'll trust them on set.
 
And we don't know what we're doing, but at least we can trust that person.
 
That is a real, that is actually the power in the room.
 
Yeah.
 
I like the note that you said about the fact that they don't know what they're doing either.
 
I feel the same way when I, for me, I didn't spend much time in acting.
 
So the ones that I see that gatekeep the things are media, social media, so on and so forth.
 
They give us all this information without giving us the full story of stuff, right?
 
There's a lot of gatekeeping there.
 
I feel like they're also living from that scarcity mentality.
 
When we live in an abundance society right now we have so much but still something in us is living from a space of scarcity and those gatekeepers are more scared of you getting in there than you are of them at some capacity 

what if you get in you get to see that gatekeeper they don't even know what they're doing maybe they have to leave right when I wrote my first book and I went to go publish it, obviously I have a choice. 

Do I self publish this or do I go out and try to get an agent?

Do I try to get a publishing deal? And I thought about it for not even two hours,
 
because for me, going down the road of getting a publisher and all of that, that that would offer me while very prestigious there's a lot of benefits that I did not want to wait for that. 

I couldn't wait I was creating and I had more to write and I have more to put out I was seasoned enough in this world as a creative to know i'm not waiting for anybody to to give me the green light 

I'm just going to publish this and we luckily we live in a day and age where that's fairly straightforward not simple and not easy but straightforward not simple not easy but not simple not easy but it's very available 

It's very available to our society now that level of information we don't have to wait
on people anymore.

The information of you being able to self-publish and get it out and learn from something like Reddit can show you how to do it. 

That is the gatekeeper standing in front of the door.

And then someone says, yo, there's a whole bunch of windows on the side of the building.
 
Oh, for sure. Okay, let's go. And then everybody just runs around there.
 
Gatekeepers are still there. They're doing what they can. We've already gone through the back area there and whatever power that they had originally technology has now opened it up even in it 

Because you're always going to find new gatekeepers even into what technology you have gatekeepers in there
 
Obviously like you know the top of last year apple got sued because they were pushing down the independent and android companies in their app stores oh gatekeeping of information and gatekeeping of access, right? 

They did it themselves. This is the beginning of the breaking down of the gatekeepers in the external world. 

It started with information. Do you know Frederick Douglass's autobiography, the narrative and life of Frederick Douglass? 

His slave owner's wife started teaching him how to read.
 
And then he overheard that woman's husband, his slave owner, say to her, don't teach them how to read because then if you do they'll have information they'll have knowledge from there she turned 
 
And he wrote in his book nothing seemed to make her more angry than seeing me with a newspaper
 
She seemed to think that that lay the danger 

I have had her rush at me with a face full of all fury and snatched from me a newspaper in a manner that fully revealed her apprehension
 
she gate kept information 

He still went and learned because he kind of activated this trickster mentality but he still went and found that information

 And we live in a society now that since the external gatekeepers are slowly diminishing the question now is
 
What is your gatekeeper that lives in your eternal being in your mind
 
In your essence what's stopping you what's holding you back right now

I still think I go back to right or wrong is what I'm doing right or wrong.

I've learned now there is no right or wrong, but it's a subconscious feeling.
 
So to the person listening, who is now thinking about gatekeepers where they never did before.
 
Everywhere. They're seeing gargoyles and sheriffs in front of churches. They're seeing everything.
 
I have a question for you, which is, do you have an internal gatekeeper? Is there something within you that is keeping you from doing something, but we want to hear from you. 

So please send us a voice note really so we can hear your voice you can email us at beautyinthebreakpod@gmail.com
 
My goodness I really want to know more yeah so do I i love voice messages obviously I love the inflection of people's voices I want to hear the tone and the thing that holds on to you
 
So please do that you might even be featured on a future show but don't let that scare you

If You don't want your voice on the show.
 
You can also just email us.
 
Just send the written word.
 
As a poet, I love the written word.
 
Send whatever you like to share about gatekeepers and what the heck, because we didn't solve any problems today, I don't think.
 
The journey is the destination, isn't it?
 
Also, we lost a ton of light, by the way.
 
You're completely in shadow now.
 
So that long light, what is the phrase?
 
The long light is a long shadow.
 
Yeah, or Frankie Beverly called it the golden time of day.
 
That's gone also.
 
No, yeah.
 
We're at the blue time of day now.
 
It's time to go watch Severance.
 
Time to go watch Severance and Sopranos if we may.
 
I do want to say one real quick thing.
 
I want to say a shout out to the gay greeters actually to end it on a good note here.
 
First thing from my personal life, shout out to my mom.
 
She continuously greeted me at the gate and said, I have already mapped the whole thing out.
 
You go have a blast kid.
 
Have fun.
 
Thank you, mama.
 
She's amazing.
 
Go be a Gate greeter.
 
Be a great gate greeter.
 
I can't say it.
 
A great greeter to, we coined the term today, we can't say it.
 
It's a gate greeter.
 
Go be somebody's gate greeter.
 
Go be somebody's gate greeter.
 
Find out the gatekeeper internal with you.
 
Talk to them and work through that.
 
Report back to us.
 
And most importantly, please, as always, be kind to yourself.
 
Peace.
 
If this episode spoke to you, take a moment and send it to someone else might need it. 

That's the best way to spread these conversations to the people who need them the most.
 
And if you want to keep exploring with us, make sure to follow Beauty in the Break
wherever you get your podcasts. 

We'll see you next time.
 
Beauty in the Break is created and hosted by Foster Wilson and Cesar Cardona.
 
Our executive producer is Glenn Milley. 

Original music by Cesar and the Clew.